Communication between different cultures
As a scholar from China, this is the first time I stepped into a different culture. Knowing very little about the culture of Singapore, I encountered a lot of embarrassments and difficulties. Some of those situations made strong impressions on me and I wanted to explore more about them. Eventually, I learned a lot from my explorations, including doing research, conducting interviews and doing self-study. Among those, what intrigued me most is the experience related to the special relationship.
When the local befrienders first brought us to play games, I intended to hold a male-senior抯 hand as we always do in China to show our friendliness to him. To my surprise, that senior became a little angry with me and he walked quicker trying to let go of my hands. What he did shocked me and I asked other local friend for reason. They answered because it destroyed their personal comforting zone. Having gone through this, I began to contemplate and did some research on it.
What is personal comforting zone and how do different cultures view different concept of communication space? How can a Chinese intelligentsia like me communicate better in such a 21st century multicultural university with other students from different culture?
Therefore, this essay will focus more on the essence of communication than its mechanism.
I found from my previous experiences that I am from a different culture and we have different ways of communication. However, as a reprehensive of my country, I need to find the common ground of our communication. This is exactly the meaning of university, which is union in a community, unity in diversity. This is first lesson I have to, I want to, and I must learn during my journey in NUS. Even if I get into USP and graduate with first class honor without mastering this, I still fail in my university life.
I am convinced that it is the essence of communication that gives quality, meaning, value, life and illumination to our social intercourse. For instance, if what I have experienced when I first stepped into a different culture made me feel depressed and not willing to be with them again, of course I will fail to communicate with people from different cultures. What I need is the perseverance in my adjustment to this spatial communication.
When a person just listens to you with all his attention, you will be willing to talk to him no matter which culture he is from. This kind of sincerity imbues quality to communication with its purity of attention to your communications.
When a person has a sense of humor when he is talking to somebody, you will think the conversation with him is very funny and you will become pleasant instead of bored in your discussions. It is humility that brings the life to communication.
Moreover, when a person tells you the true feeling, true experience or true news, you will be sure to participate in your communication willingly and also learn some significant edification. This shows the truth imbues illumination to conversation.
All the perseverance, sincerity, humility, and truth are the common ground of our social communication, no matter where you are from.
These are my ways of learning and exploring from my own experience. Even if I cannot get into USP, I will still stick to this kind of thinking and learning, and I hope the professors can agree with the common ground in our communication and hope this can help all the people communicate better.
Showing posts with label Ivy Chan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ivy Chan. Show all posts
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Divorce?
Divorce?
Nowadays, divorce has become a controversial problem. It used to be unacceptable due to its serious influence. However, as the divorce rate climbing up, more and more people consider whether it is a reasonable way to solve an unsuccessful marriage. Though most people think divorce can have a serious impact on children, there are still some think it is better for them to have a new family, instead of suffering quarrels every day. Is divorce the best choice when there is problem?
This makes me remember a story written by a woman who met problem in her marriage and finally overcame it. She wrote, when it came to the fifth year of her marriage, things went wrong. There was no big problem, but life was just boring. She said both of them felt tired and even did not want to talk to each other. There was once a time they thought about divorce. But they tried other ways to solve the problem. They asked for a vacation and went to the places they used to go; they found out the photos they took and recalled their happy memories together. Things became better and better and, finally, they saved their marriage.
When divorce becomes more and more popular, people do not try to solve the problem but just give it up. Some people may think divorce has some benefit to some extent. But the problem is whether the circumstances are serious enough to break up. In ancient China, people’s marriages are decided by their parents and they even did not know each other before their wedding, but they can live together for their whole life. This does not mean they all lived a happy life, but because they did not have such a concept, divorce, in their mind. They tried to solve the problem instead of just giving it up.
Therefore, people should think twice before they get married. Once they decide, they’d better think out the proper ways to solve problems in the future. The result is more about the attitude, instead of the circumstances. There are many other ways to solve the problem, as long as you want to have a try, and divorce is the least good choice to consider.
Nowadays, divorce has become a controversial problem. It used to be unacceptable due to its serious influence. However, as the divorce rate climbing up, more and more people consider whether it is a reasonable way to solve an unsuccessful marriage. Though most people think divorce can have a serious impact on children, there are still some think it is better for them to have a new family, instead of suffering quarrels every day. Is divorce the best choice when there is problem?
This makes me remember a story written by a woman who met problem in her marriage and finally overcame it. She wrote, when it came to the fifth year of her marriage, things went wrong. There was no big problem, but life was just boring. She said both of them felt tired and even did not want to talk to each other. There was once a time they thought about divorce. But they tried other ways to solve the problem. They asked for a vacation and went to the places they used to go; they found out the photos they took and recalled their happy memories together. Things became better and better and, finally, they saved their marriage.
When divorce becomes more and more popular, people do not try to solve the problem but just give it up. Some people may think divorce has some benefit to some extent. But the problem is whether the circumstances are serious enough to break up. In ancient China, people’s marriages are decided by their parents and they even did not know each other before their wedding, but they can live together for their whole life. This does not mean they all lived a happy life, but because they did not have such a concept, divorce, in their mind. They tried to solve the problem instead of just giving it up.
Therefore, people should think twice before they get married. Once they decide, they’d better think out the proper ways to solve problems in the future. The result is more about the attitude, instead of the circumstances. There are many other ways to solve the problem, as long as you want to have a try, and divorce is the least good choice to consider.
Arts and affliction
Arts and affliction
This Wednesday, we had a visit to the Arts Museum of Singapore. I have to admit I could not understand most of them. I think the arts in China emphasize more on beauty, the visual enjoyment. However, the arts in Singapore, like those of western countries, pay more attention to the meaning. The works seem less pleasing, and people may not understand it at the first sight.
One thing about the works which left the deepest impression on me is same, that they are all relating to suffering. The ones shocked me most are several status of human figure which are stabbed by different kinds of sharp tools. Their struggling gesture and the painful expression really astonished me. The second is a piece of work drawn by Wu Guanzhong. The picture is about a painful, naked woman, who deeply buried her head down. The other one is a piece of video about something I did not understand but was very scary.
I think it is the same with life. Those painful experiences usually leave a deeper impression on us. It is also during these painful moments that we can develop. For instance, poets are always relating to suffering, so there are few poets come from modern, comfortable life. It is the same with the God. When Jesus was crucified on the crucifix, the god’s power was the highest. No pain, no gain. Affliction can be a great motivation, making us develop.
This Wednesday, we had a visit to the Arts Museum of Singapore. I have to admit I could not understand most of them. I think the arts in China emphasize more on beauty, the visual enjoyment. However, the arts in Singapore, like those of western countries, pay more attention to the meaning. The works seem less pleasing, and people may not understand it at the first sight.
One thing about the works which left the deepest impression on me is same, that they are all relating to suffering. The ones shocked me most are several status of human figure which are stabbed by different kinds of sharp tools. Their struggling gesture and the painful expression really astonished me. The second is a piece of work drawn by Wu Guanzhong. The picture is about a painful, naked woman, who deeply buried her head down. The other one is a piece of video about something I did not understand but was very scary.
I think it is the same with life. Those painful experiences usually leave a deeper impression on us. It is also during these painful moments that we can develop. For instance, poets are always relating to suffering, so there are few poets come from modern, comfortable life. It is the same with the God. When Jesus was crucified on the crucifix, the god’s power was the highest. No pain, no gain. Affliction can be a great motivation, making us develop.
Time to say goodbye
Time to say goodbye
Time flies. When I looked at our schedule, I suddenly realized we had almost finished our bridging course. A sense of sadness arose from the bottom of my heart, and the end of the oral presentation also strengthened my emptiness. The course is coming to an end. There was happiness, regret as well as expectation; anyway, it is almost the time to say goodbye.
When I looked at the photos of our group, memories came flooding back: our first Chinese new year in Singapore, our picnic attacked by monkeys as well as the oral presentation. I found out the letters you gave me on Valentines’ Day, and they really made me feel warm and happy. I am sorry for I could not reply to all of you, and I really want to say thank you. I feel lucky to be the monitor, for it gives me the chance to know all my classmates better. Though I know, we have few very touching activities together, and perhaps we are not the best friends, I still feel happy and content to be with you.
I remembered the first lesson of Ms. Wong. She suggested us learn three new words every day and she said we can see progress after three months if we carry on. It sounds quite simple. However, like many others, I feel guilty that I failed to continue. Perhaps most of us will feel a little bit disappointed when the bridging cause comes to an end, for we may not have learnt as much as we expected. To comfort myself, I think at least I have learnt the style of academic writing and the process of doing research.
As for the research, it really brings me a lot, not only about the technique, but also about my mind. Perhaps a person is stronger than he could imagine. Before the presentation, we spent a lot of time preparing the research that I even dare not to think about failure. But after that, I am glad I recovered soon enough. I think at least I know there is much for me to learn and how can I do better in the future. I am sorry about what I have done wrongly in my group and I am really grateful for the experience. I love one sentence: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” And it is important to do our best and learn as much as possible during the process. Only in this way, can we face the result calmly.
The bridging course almost comes to an end. There was happiness, regret as well as expectation; anyway, it is time to say goodbye. What we can do now is to treasure the left time being together and reduce the emptiness to the least. We can change the regret to the motivation for the future. Tomorrow is waiting for us. Best wishes for all of you, my dear classmates…
Time flies. When I looked at our schedule, I suddenly realized we had almost finished our bridging course. A sense of sadness arose from the bottom of my heart, and the end of the oral presentation also strengthened my emptiness. The course is coming to an end. There was happiness, regret as well as expectation; anyway, it is almost the time to say goodbye.
When I looked at the photos of our group, memories came flooding back: our first Chinese new year in Singapore, our picnic attacked by monkeys as well as the oral presentation. I found out the letters you gave me on Valentines’ Day, and they really made me feel warm and happy. I am sorry for I could not reply to all of you, and I really want to say thank you. I feel lucky to be the monitor, for it gives me the chance to know all my classmates better. Though I know, we have few very touching activities together, and perhaps we are not the best friends, I still feel happy and content to be with you.
I remembered the first lesson of Ms. Wong. She suggested us learn three new words every day and she said we can see progress after three months if we carry on. It sounds quite simple. However, like many others, I feel guilty that I failed to continue. Perhaps most of us will feel a little bit disappointed when the bridging cause comes to an end, for we may not have learnt as much as we expected. To comfort myself, I think at least I have learnt the style of academic writing and the process of doing research.
As for the research, it really brings me a lot, not only about the technique, but also about my mind. Perhaps a person is stronger than he could imagine. Before the presentation, we spent a lot of time preparing the research that I even dare not to think about failure. But after that, I am glad I recovered soon enough. I think at least I know there is much for me to learn and how can I do better in the future. I am sorry about what I have done wrongly in my group and I am really grateful for the experience. I love one sentence: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” And it is important to do our best and learn as much as possible during the process. Only in this way, can we face the result calmly.
The bridging course almost comes to an end. There was happiness, regret as well as expectation; anyway, it is time to say goodbye. What we can do now is to treasure the left time being together and reduce the emptiness to the least. We can change the regret to the motivation for the future. Tomorrow is waiting for us. Best wishes for all of you, my dear classmates…
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Thank You
Five months passed by since we started our English bridging course. Kind of sad, ah?
I still remember the first day we met. That cloudy and rainy afternoon, we were told that we were all in group 7. At that moment I did not realize the attachment and belongingness as I feel now…
Every Monday to Thursday we spent almost eight hours a day together. When Chinese Festival was coming, we were excited to celebrate it in our lovely class. When earthquake happened in Japan, we felt sorry for them. When Linda’s and Jiahao’s birthdays were coming, we celebrated together.
No matter what happened, we always felt delighted when we were together. And I suddenly realize we were happy together because we were united! That sense of unit makes us feel the belongingness.
However, we are going to finish our English bridging course. Even we want to stop time from moving on, we ourselves still need to move on and enter another new stage.
It may be a sad topic. But I believe everyone in our group will keep the friendship with us for the rest of our lives. Here, I really want to thank you all! Thank you for being my friends! Thank you for bringing joy to my life during my first time going abroad.
Keep in touch! And I love you all!
I still remember the first day we met. That cloudy and rainy afternoon, we were told that we were all in group 7. At that moment I did not realize the attachment and belongingness as I feel now…
Every Monday to Thursday we spent almost eight hours a day together. When Chinese Festival was coming, we were excited to celebrate it in our lovely class. When earthquake happened in Japan, we felt sorry for them. When Linda’s and Jiahao’s birthdays were coming, we celebrated together.
No matter what happened, we always felt delighted when we were together. And I suddenly realize we were happy together because we were united! That sense of unit makes us feel the belongingness.
However, we are going to finish our English bridging course. Even we want to stop time from moving on, we ourselves still need to move on and enter another new stage.
It may be a sad topic. But I believe everyone in our group will keep the friendship with us for the rest of our lives. Here, I really want to thank you all! Thank you for being my friends! Thank you for bringing joy to my life during my first time going abroad.
Keep in touch! And I love you all!
peerless
Peerless
Hello everyone today is my last turn to stand here. So if you do not listen carefully to me this time, you will get no other chance to listen to me again in spite of being the same faculty with me. On the other hand, if I do not perform well and cherish this opportunity, I will get no chance to show my almost perfect English to Ms Chritine and all of you.
I am joking, hehe. Ok, let us cut to my point today. Actually, what I mentioned previously is linked to my topic today, which is “if you wanna do something, do it now.”
Yes, I think most of us will have our own plan for what we will do today and others. But how many of you finish all your goals in your original plan? Or how many of you just delay something to another day. And again and again, finally you will regret that why don’t I do that in that day?
And also for many people say they want to be in charge of their life, but they just turn their initial schedules over to their television sets and computers. And delay to tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is a new day for you to do many things, but do not forget tomorrow is also another day.
Life is like a boat in the ocean, you will never know what will happen to your boat next. So if you want to do something, do it now. Otherwise, you may regret for not having done it.
You never know what life could bring, because nothing can last forever.
But what you need to do is do not stop your goal and know that you could reach the top and be the one you wanna be.
Follow your heart and do not give up. When you are true to your goal and true to yourself, everything in the universe will work together to make sure you reach your destination. The journey may not be easy, but the rewards will be beyond your imagination.”
Finally, I want to borrow what Ms Christine has taught us, if you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere, you’d better wake up and pay attention imdiately.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
If I had a singer flower for everytime I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
------to my love
Sometimes, I am wondering what if the one who left is you, not my father. I am sure my life would be totally different if it happened; and I definitely feel relieved and grateful to have your company in the past 19 years.
To give me a carefree childhood, you rejected every invitation by men. To give me better care, you refused every opportunity by companies which were far away from home. What’s more, to support me and my decision, you even built your strength and sent me here.
Today is Mother’s Day. And I just cannot hold those sincere feelings anymore---I want you to know how much I love you, mum!
I called you this morning and told you, “happy Mother’s Day!” You just laughed, and responded quickly, “it turned out that you remember!”
Without hesitation, I said,” it is the last thing I will forget in my life.”
You laughed again. This time, I could easily recognize it was from the bottom of your heart.
No matter where we are, when it is, or how often we connect with each other, there will always be something between us----the tie, since the day you gave me birth.
Just take care of yourself.
And, please remember how much I love you!
------to my love
Sometimes, I am wondering what if the one who left is you, not my father. I am sure my life would be totally different if it happened; and I definitely feel relieved and grateful to have your company in the past 19 years.
To give me a carefree childhood, you rejected every invitation by men. To give me better care, you refused every opportunity by companies which were far away from home. What’s more, to support me and my decision, you even built your strength and sent me here.
Today is Mother’s Day. And I just cannot hold those sincere feelings anymore---I want you to know how much I love you, mum!
I called you this morning and told you, “happy Mother’s Day!” You just laughed, and responded quickly, “it turned out that you remember!”
Without hesitation, I said,” it is the last thing I will forget in my life.”
You laughed again. This time, I could easily recognize it was from the bottom of your heart.
No matter where we are, when it is, or how often we connect with each other, there will always be something between us----the tie, since the day you gave me birth.
Just take care of yourself.
And, please remember how much I love you!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Arts and Life
I always consider arts as a gift by gods, an attitude towards life and the melody of music. However, my impression on arts has been confirmed once more after the visit to Singapore Art Museum.
There was a portrait named “Mrs. Lee’s cake” which impressed me most. Standing in front of the painting, I could not help being attracted----not just by the creativity of the painter but the far-reaching meaning behind it. It consisted of two parts; one was concerned about a young lady while the other one was attached with an old lady. From my view towards the painting, I thought the two women were all Mrs. Lee. It was easy to find that Mrs. Lee was celebrating her birthday. With time went by, she was getting older even though she became rich during the past decades which could be seen from the shining jewels on her fingers. But jewels could not satisfy the eager of getting back to the old days; perhaps it was why Mrs. Lee chose to wear jewels---to fill loneliness and blank memories. Perhaps Mrs. Lee married with a merchant who provided her with everything she wanted, except the critical importance for a woman---spiritual comfort and care. Then Mrs. Lee found comfort in the world of material. However, reality was cruel---charming appearance was no more exited; the clock was ticking…
My thought was wandering. At this moment, I became a director in the movie, ”Mrs. Lee’s cake”. And I exerted Mrs. Lee’s personality while describing her whole life.
When she was young, she had beauty but not money to buy her jewel; when she could afford all these things, beautiful days just passed by---she was not young anymore. It is just like life. You have to give up something so you can obtain another one you want. Life is always imperfect.
Maybe that is why people are so attracted with arts----it shows you a different world just by a scene or a single word.
There was a portrait named “Mrs. Lee’s cake” which impressed me most. Standing in front of the painting, I could not help being attracted----not just by the creativity of the painter but the far-reaching meaning behind it. It consisted of two parts; one was concerned about a young lady while the other one was attached with an old lady. From my view towards the painting, I thought the two women were all Mrs. Lee. It was easy to find that Mrs. Lee was celebrating her birthday. With time went by, she was getting older even though she became rich during the past decades which could be seen from the shining jewels on her fingers. But jewels could not satisfy the eager of getting back to the old days; perhaps it was why Mrs. Lee chose to wear jewels---to fill loneliness and blank memories. Perhaps Mrs. Lee married with a merchant who provided her with everything she wanted, except the critical importance for a woman---spiritual comfort and care. Then Mrs. Lee found comfort in the world of material. However, reality was cruel---charming appearance was no more exited; the clock was ticking…
My thought was wandering. At this moment, I became a director in the movie, ”Mrs. Lee’s cake”. And I exerted Mrs. Lee’s personality while describing her whole life.
When she was young, she had beauty but not money to buy her jewel; when she could afford all these things, beautiful days just passed by---she was not young anymore. It is just like life. You have to give up something so you can obtain another one you want. Life is always imperfect.
Maybe that is why people are so attracted with arts----it shows you a different world just by a scene or a single word.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
leaening journey
Before the learning journey, I wondered what we would see in the national museum and what we would learn in the arts museum. At that time, I thought that there must be some famous abstract painting like Mona Lisa executed by Leonardo da Vinci and others.
After our progress test, we were all eager to have a rest in the journey, which turned out to be a more stressful experience, just in my opinion. Perhaps I just cannot understand that kind of arts. Moreover, I think some of the artworks are extreme, making me sad about the world. I knew they just want me to realize the true world. However, I just cannot stand it. For this reason, I even had a headache during the journey due to some terrible paintings.
Although I really did not like this journey as a whole, there is still some impressive artwork which told me a lot about the world.
The most impressive one is the painting in the national museum, which shows a person whose body was divided into three parts. And his face expression shows that he was tortured by something. I did not understand the meaning before I read the background of the picture, which says that the painting was drawn during the recession. I realized that it showed the person’s personality was split by the recession.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
To face changes
To face changes
After spending the first phrase in the classroom of school of computing, we will soon have a change. In one of my classmate’s oral report, he mentioned the memory of the classroom in the past few months, which made me think of a lot of things. There are changes along the way when we grow up, both good and bad. To live better, I think we should be open about these changes and face them calmly.
Adolescence is changeable. Living in a world of dreams, we had many kinds of imagination for the future. Dreams used to change so easily that even now I cannot remember all the dreams I had before. The changes have nothing to do right or wrong. It is simply a natural process of growth. Changes are usually unpredictable. Consequently, it is important to leave some space for changes when making a decision. After making sure even the worst result is acceptable, we can face any change calmly.
Changes are exciting. When we grow up, we keep changing schools, knowing different people, and overcoming the difficulties. It is during this process that we become stronger and stronger. We are now in a foreign country. The multi-cultural environment can not only provide us with a new experience, but also a different way of thinking. The global mind and the critical thinking is the thing our own country cannot help. Embracing the changes positively can provide a person more chance to success. Now when it comes to select a roommate in the hostel, choosing a local may help a lot to adapt to the life in a foreign country. Changes are also exciting, to embrace them may bring more chances to success.
Life is always full of changes, both good and bad. There are too many things we cannot decide. What we can do is to treasure every day, or even every minute, and every opportunity to do those meaningful things you want to. Keep company with those who you love. In case of changes, we should be grateful and leave no regret.
Life is like a boat, and no one knows what will happen. There are always changes in life, both good and bad. Some changes make us laugh, while some make us cry. However, it is also changes make our lives more meaningful. To leave some space for change and to treasure things in case of regret can lead to a calm life. To embrace beneficial changes may also help a person to success.
After spending the first phrase in the classroom of school of computing, we will soon have a change. In one of my classmate’s oral report, he mentioned the memory of the classroom in the past few months, which made me think of a lot of things. There are changes along the way when we grow up, both good and bad. To live better, I think we should be open about these changes and face them calmly.
Adolescence is changeable. Living in a world of dreams, we had many kinds of imagination for the future. Dreams used to change so easily that even now I cannot remember all the dreams I had before. The changes have nothing to do right or wrong. It is simply a natural process of growth. Changes are usually unpredictable. Consequently, it is important to leave some space for changes when making a decision. After making sure even the worst result is acceptable, we can face any change calmly.
Changes are exciting. When we grow up, we keep changing schools, knowing different people, and overcoming the difficulties. It is during this process that we become stronger and stronger. We are now in a foreign country. The multi-cultural environment can not only provide us with a new experience, but also a different way of thinking. The global mind and the critical thinking is the thing our own country cannot help. Embracing the changes positively can provide a person more chance to success. Now when it comes to select a roommate in the hostel, choosing a local may help a lot to adapt to the life in a foreign country. Changes are also exciting, to embrace them may bring more chances to success.
Life is always full of changes, both good and bad. There are too many things we cannot decide. What we can do is to treasure every day, or even every minute, and every opportunity to do those meaningful things you want to. Keep company with those who you love. In case of changes, we should be grateful and leave no regret.
Life is like a boat, and no one knows what will happen. There are always changes in life, both good and bad. Some changes make us laugh, while some make us cry. However, it is also changes make our lives more meaningful. To leave some space for change and to treasure things in case of regret can lead to a calm life. To embrace beneficial changes may also help a person to success.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Treasure Everyday
People come and people go. One fact we can never deny is that there are always something under our control.
The day when I was told about my grandfather’s death, I just cannot make it through. At that time, I was only 13 years old. But even today, I still remember the way he walked, the tone he spoke, and the look he smiled. The big tree now stands in front of our garden----I guess I am not the only one who miss him so much. But sometimes, we cannot live in the past; we have to move on…
Yes, life is always unpredictable. Life has a way of throwing these balls at us. The family’s main bread-winner suddenly passes away. A child finds new love and loyalty through marriage. No matter how perfect your organizational skills are, there will always be life-influencing factors over which you have no control.
Then, my friend’s words occurred to me,’ if you are afraid that the love is unlikely lasting forever, thus you hesitate to keep it, then what will be the meaning of love?’ We indeed may lose people we love someday, but it does not mean we have to bend down and focus on negative sides! We still own today; we still have this moment--- what is the most important thing is that we still have our breath to move on. Nothing can deprive our opportunity of making use of every minute to treasure our life and our dream.
I will still miss people who pass by my life. Anyway, I move on then. Since we are young, our greatest fortune is to stand up again and again after falling down.
Laugh or cry as we like; life is too short to oppress ourselves.
Treasure today. Treasure this moment.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
different personal space
Different aspects of personal space
As a scholar from China, this is the first time I stepped into a different culture. As a result of knowing a little about the culture of Singapore, I encountered a lot of embarrassments and difficulties. Some of those situations impressed me and I wanted to explore more about it. Eventually, I learned a lot from my explorations which includes doing researches, questionnaires, and studies. Among those, what intrigued me most is the experience related to the aspect of personal space.
When the befrienders (local seniors who help us adjust to the life in Singapore) brought us to play games outside, I intended to hold a male-senior’s hand as we always do in China to show our friendliness to him. To my surprise, that senior became a little angry with what I have done and he walked quicker trying to let my hands go. I felt that there must be some cultural shocks about this, and what happened next proved what I thought. We entered the elevator along with about 15 other students. More locals wanted in but could see that it was "full", so they formed a small crowd outside the elevator. Just as the elevator door was about to close, it suddenly re-opened. Another Chinese student, had pushed through the waiting crowd, pressed the button, and worked her way into the crowded elevator. Since Chinese like to be close with each other, I smiled when she went in. After that, one of my local friends told me that girl should never did that again, Singaporean hate this kind of behavior, it destroyed their personal space. Having gone through those two experiences, I began to contemplate and do some research about it which interests me a lot.
I found from our daily life that everyone is surrounded by an invisible zone of psychological comfort. This protective bubble acts as a buffer zone against unwanted touching. Our comfort zone varies depending on the different culture. Yes, different cultures have different concepts of personal space. Given the fact that Singaporean learned more from English culture, Singaporeans have strict concept of space. For example, Americans have a large personal space. We can stand in line tightly, as long as all are facing in the same direction, but we don't want to stand close to anybody in face-to-face encounters. If you enter that space without having earned the right, Americans get very uncomfortable. On the contrary, Cambodians prefer to stand close to one another, maybe even touching each other occasionally. Omanis sometimes stand so close they can rest their hands on each other's shoulders. Egyptians not only stand almost touching noses, but they raise their voices, speaking loudly to each other.
Where does the difference come from?
Firstly, I think that it has a great amount to do with the space available within that country. Canada only has 3.5 people per square kilometer, whereas in small countries with massive populations, they have to get used to living in dense areas. However, another example proves me not exactly right. India is one of the most populous countries but they have a very strict sense of personal space. They bow and say Namaste instead of shaking hands.
Another reason I found is that our status, confidence, and power of the people around us affect our aspect of personal space. Because the people who possess the most power and authority command a greater amount of personal space that they can call their own.
I am very interested by those kinds of studies and I will continue to explore what’s the advantages and disadvantages do those different kinds of aspect of space have in different areas of our life.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
letter from an unknown woman
Don’t tire of listening to me for a little while, I beg you. I haven’t grown tired of loving you all my life.
------
I have got to admitted that I was first attracted by the movie but not the original book. Anyway, all I feel now is that I should have read it earlier! Something rooted in the initial ‘seed’ will never be fully expressed in movie.
From the moment she gaped in girlish wonder at the new neighbeelr and curiously observed plenty of books written in different languages in his shelf, she was already faced with an unpredicted life. From the moment when she first saw the young and bloody handsome pianist, she fell in love with him. Through the love was all on her own, she still appreciated every moment with him.
I cannot help thinking of a famous saying,” I love you, but it is not your business.” How come when a woman was forgotten by love of her life! Even when he deserted her after a night of mechanical bliss, she continued to feel most kindly toward him and bore his children without doubt or hesitation. She spent every minute of her life loving the man and when their child was born, she even chose not to tell him for his advantage. “I preferred to take everything on myself rather than be a burden to you.” She wrote in her letter to him before she died. It just touches my heart while I unreservedly admire the way she behaves. No one can be as brave as she does, I think. She knew the responsibility from the very beginning , thus she took it. It probably explained why she could keep the love on her own and built her strength all way along---she took what was coming then moved on.
It is not her autobiography.
But we all know it is the reflection of society at that time---- woman just took it for they were not entitled for freedom to choose and made their voice heard.
Whatever a life she finally ended to, she never regretted every effort she made to get close to him. Then, maybe it was what she wanted. It is enough.
------
I have got to admitted that I was first attracted by the movie but not the original book. Anyway, all I feel now is that I should have read it earlier! Something rooted in the initial ‘seed’ will never be fully expressed in movie.
From the moment she gaped in girlish wonder at the new neighbeelr and curiously observed plenty of books written in different languages in his shelf, she was already faced with an unpredicted life. From the moment when she first saw the young and bloody handsome pianist, she fell in love with him. Through the love was all on her own, she still appreciated every moment with him.
I cannot help thinking of a famous saying,” I love you, but it is not your business.” How come when a woman was forgotten by love of her life! Even when he deserted her after a night of mechanical bliss, she continued to feel most kindly toward him and bore his children without doubt or hesitation. She spent every minute of her life loving the man and when their child was born, she even chose not to tell him for his advantage. “I preferred to take everything on myself rather than be a burden to you.” She wrote in her letter to him before she died. It just touches my heart while I unreservedly admire the way she behaves. No one can be as brave as she does, I think. She knew the responsibility from the very beginning , thus she took it. It probably explained why she could keep the love on her own and built her strength all way along---she took what was coming then moved on.
It is not her autobiography.
But we all know it is the reflection of society at that time---- woman just took it for they were not entitled for freedom to choose and made their voice heard.
Whatever a life she finally ended to, she never regretted every effort she made to get close to him. Then, maybe it was what she wanted. It is enough.
Monday, March 14, 2011
balance
It is another decadent day…
I find myself hard to focus on my studies. I am always distracted by some irrelevant matters. I try every means to overcome it but still does not work.
Then, I am reminded of my senior who takes care of me like a father. Yesterday he shared me something about “a boy”( who turned out to be the reflection of himself).
There was a boy. He lived in a small village. His family was so poor that he even could not afford his tuition fee in primary school and the beginning of every semester became the hardest days to go through which means he had to borrow money from relatives. The most pathetic thing happening to him was that he had a father who was addicted to drinking and gambling. Even though their life could not make ends meet , his father still gambled excess and the man even countered the family’s only surviving furniture for gambling. In the end, the house was totally empty. The worst thing happened when he was nearly ten years old. At that time, the boy’s father betrayed his wife and did something illegal resulting in his days in jail----leading the most tragic suffering----the boy’s mother attempted to suicide----and not only for one time, but several times! Those things had remarkable influence in the dedicate heart. Maybe it explained his bad behavior later in his secondary school. He used to escape from school and be addicted to the computer games. Then, one day, suddenly he realized it was wrong and turned over a new leaf.
Perhaps it was those misery memories that fostered his ambitions. He told me that he had so many dreams to realize and he enjoyed the feeling of striving after his bright future.
Compared with him, I know I am lucky. Although I brought up by my mother, I led a happy childhood. On the contrary, I do not have the ambition as he does.
It is time I thought about the future.
I do not want to leave myself an opportunity to regret in ten years. I do not want to be burdened with relationship which makes me to lose myself.
I believe I will find a balance between my studies and my emotional life.
I find myself hard to focus on my studies. I am always distracted by some irrelevant matters. I try every means to overcome it but still does not work.
Then, I am reminded of my senior who takes care of me like a father. Yesterday he shared me something about “a boy”( who turned out to be the reflection of himself).
There was a boy. He lived in a small village. His family was so poor that he even could not afford his tuition fee in primary school and the beginning of every semester became the hardest days to go through which means he had to borrow money from relatives. The most pathetic thing happening to him was that he had a father who was addicted to drinking and gambling. Even though their life could not make ends meet , his father still gambled excess and the man even countered the family’s only surviving furniture for gambling. In the end, the house was totally empty. The worst thing happened when he was nearly ten years old. At that time, the boy’s father betrayed his wife and did something illegal resulting in his days in jail----leading the most tragic suffering----the boy’s mother attempted to suicide----and not only for one time, but several times! Those things had remarkable influence in the dedicate heart. Maybe it explained his bad behavior later in his secondary school. He used to escape from school and be addicted to the computer games. Then, one day, suddenly he realized it was wrong and turned over a new leaf.
Perhaps it was those misery memories that fostered his ambitions. He told me that he had so many dreams to realize and he enjoyed the feeling of striving after his bright future.
Compared with him, I know I am lucky. Although I brought up by my mother, I led a happy childhood. On the contrary, I do not have the ambition as he does.
It is time I thought about the future.
I do not want to leave myself an opportunity to regret in ten years. I do not want to be burdened with relationship which makes me to lose myself.
I believe I will find a balance between my studies and my emotional life.
NUS Open House
NUS Open House
Last weekend, NUS held the open house to welcome the junior graduates and to give some information about the faculties and programs in NUS. I learned a lot during this trip.
There were three halls for lecture, and another one was for questions. All the halls were crowded with students and parents. During the lecture, I learned more about the faculties, and realized what I really interested in. I had a better understand of the importance of interest. Now I am determined to pursue a life I really want, no matter how hard it seems to be, for there is nothing more terrible than living a life I do not enjoy. Just as Joan Ryan, the pioneer female sports writer, said, ”Don’t let anyone keep you from doing what you want to do. Just pretend you have courage. ”
Besides the introduction of faculties, there are also briefings about the programs and activities. NUS provides students with numbers of opportunities. As long as you want, there is always something that suits you. The two programs which impress me most are the NUS Enterprise and the University Scholar Program. The NUS Enterprise can provide a person with the access to an oversea internship, which can broaden one’s horizons as well as enrich one’s experience. As for the University Scholar Program, it is very difficult to get in. They admit only 180 students totally. The ability of those top students makes me realize that there is still a long way for me to go. The SM scholarship is not the destination, but is the beginning.
I learned a lot from the open house, something not about the knowledge, but about the life. NUS, a great multidisciplinary university, is full of challenges and opportunities. “one needs to understand the wide world out there, and not sit in the well and be contented to see only a small portion of the sky”. Let’s work harder from now on!
Last weekend, NUS held the open house to welcome the junior graduates and to give some information about the faculties and programs in NUS. I learned a lot during this trip.
There were three halls for lecture, and another one was for questions. All the halls were crowded with students and parents. During the lecture, I learned more about the faculties, and realized what I really interested in. I had a better understand of the importance of interest. Now I am determined to pursue a life I really want, no matter how hard it seems to be, for there is nothing more terrible than living a life I do not enjoy. Just as Joan Ryan, the pioneer female sports writer, said, ”Don’t let anyone keep you from doing what you want to do. Just pretend you have courage. ”
Besides the introduction of faculties, there are also briefings about the programs and activities. NUS provides students with numbers of opportunities. As long as you want, there is always something that suits you. The two programs which impress me most are the NUS Enterprise and the University Scholar Program. The NUS Enterprise can provide a person with the access to an oversea internship, which can broaden one’s horizons as well as enrich one’s experience. As for the University Scholar Program, it is very difficult to get in. They admit only 180 students totally. The ability of those top students makes me realize that there is still a long way for me to go. The SM scholarship is not the destination, but is the beginning.
I learned a lot from the open house, something not about the knowledge, but about the life. NUS, a great multidisciplinary university, is full of challenges and opportunities. “one needs to understand the wide world out there, and not sit in the well and be contented to see only a small portion of the sky”. Let’s work harder from now on!
NUS Open House
NUS Open House
Last weekend, NUS held the open house to welcome the junior graduates and to give some information about the faculties and programs in NUS. I learned a lot during this trip.
There were three halls for lecture, and another one was for questions. All the halls were crowded with students and parents. During the lecture, I learned more about the faculties, and realized what I really interested in. I had a better understand of the importance of interest. Now I am determined to pursue a life I really want, no matter how hard it seems to be, for there is nothing more terrible than living a life I do not enjoy. Just as Joan Ryan, the pioneer female sports writer, said, ”Don’t let anyone keep you from doing what you want to do. Just pretend you have courage. ”
Besides the introduction of faculties, there are also briefings about the programs and activities. NUS provides students with numbers of opportunities. As long as you want, there is always something that suits you. The two programs which impress me most are the NUS Enterprise and the University Scholar Program. The NUS Enterprise can provide a person with the access to an oversea internship, which can broaden one’s horizons as well as enrich one’s experience. As for the University Scholar Program, it is very difficult to get in. They admit only 180 students totally. The ability of those top students makes me realize that there is still a long way for me to go. The SM scholarship is not the destination, but is the beginning.
I learned a lot from the open house, something not about the knowledge, but about the life. NUS, a great multidisciplinary university, is full of challenges and opportunities. “one needs to understand the wide world out there, and not sit in the well and be contented to see only a small portion of the sky”. Let’s work harder from now on!
Last weekend, NUS held the open house to welcome the junior graduates and to give some information about the faculties and programs in NUS. I learned a lot during this trip.
There were three halls for lecture, and another one was for questions. All the halls were crowded with students and parents. During the lecture, I learned more about the faculties, and realized what I really interested in. I had a better understand of the importance of interest. Now I am determined to pursue a life I really want, no matter how hard it seems to be, for there is nothing more terrible than living a life I do not enjoy. Just as Joan Ryan, the pioneer female sports writer, said, ”Don’t let anyone keep you from doing what you want to do. Just pretend you have courage. ”
Besides the introduction of faculties, there are also briefings about the programs and activities. NUS provides students with numbers of opportunities. As long as you want, there is always something that suits you. The two programs which impress me most are the NUS Enterprise and the University Scholar Program. The NUS Enterprise can provide a person with the access to an oversea internship, which can broaden one’s horizons as well as enrich one’s experience. As for the University Scholar Program, it is very difficult to get in. They admit only 180 students totally. The ability of those top students makes me realize that there is still a long way for me to go. The SM scholarship is not the destination, but is the beginning.
I learned a lot from the open house, something not about the knowledge, but about the life. NUS, a great multidisciplinary university, is full of challenges and opportunities. “one needs to understand the wide world out there, and not sit in the well and be contented to see only a small portion of the sky”. Let’s work harder from now on!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I like you for being my big brother
I like you for being my big brother
Last week, we watched a movie “Rain Man” all together. The movie touched my heart because of a special reason, that is, my love to my little brother.
The film told us a story about Charlie and his autistic brother Raymond. Raymond suffered from an abnormal psychological state in which he had a severely limited understanding of reality. More importantly in the film, he had little understanding of his own emotions, or the emotions of others. But what surprised us and Charlie was that his autistic brother inherited his father’s property. Charlie was so angry that he kidnapped Raymond in order to possess the money. However, in their way back to Los Angeles, Charlie found that Raymond was his best friends “Rain Man” when he was a little child and his brother suffered a lot for taking care of Charlie. Eventually, the brotherhood between them waked Charlie up. And he decided to attend to his big brother.
Before the movie, I had a previous chat with my little brother, who is only eleven months younger than me. Why do I call it “previous”? My brother failed in his college entrance examination, and he did not want to go back to school again. So he decided to join the army, which is very difficult for a seventeen-year-old boy. And after he joined the army, he had no freedom to call or surf the internet. Therefore, he only could call my mother once a month for five minutes. Every time on the phone, he just held his tears to tell my mom he was all right. But we all know, the condition in the army was very tough for him because his body was not so strong. And I can call my mom as many times as I can. Every time I call my mom, she would tell me all about his second son, and asked me not worry about him. But she knew she and I missed my brother. Before my little joined the army, I have never bravely showed my love to him, even though he always said he was proud of having a clever brother like me. But this time, i.e. that noon before the film, I bravely said to him that I love him and I am proud of him no matter what he will be in the future. I also said that the friends of your big brother all envy me, because only I have had a brother to play with in the childhood. My brother was moved. And he typed out his last sentence, sent it to my computer, which was “I like you for being my big brother”.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Goodbye, my castle in the sky
Goodbye, my castle in the sky
Once upon time, there was a girl, her name is Xiaoyu. She is very kind and beautiful. In her primary school, she had a friend named “Jingjing”. They usually played together. Then after graduate they entered the same secondary school. Though they are not in the same class, they still contact a lot. Time flied, Xiaoyu graduated and be admitted by a good high school. Then she knew a boy via her classmate. He is a very good boy, who is tall, kind and outgoing, so he has a
lot of friends. One day Jingjing went to Xiaoyu’s school and told her that she would also go to the same high school. Both Xiaoyu and Jingjing were very happy .Moreover, Jingjing was in the same class with Zhan. Slowly, they three became the best friends. They hung out together, ate lunch together, and studied together till late night. They share everything, having no secret. On one summer night, they had dinner, then they talked about their dream and future. Zhan wants to be doctor and Jingjing hopes to be a designer. And Xiaoyu wants to be a business woman, and they promise to be lifelong friends, forever. The stars were extremely beautiful. It was an unforgettable memory. On that summer vacation, Xiaoyu learned Spanish. When they walked together, Zhan helped her remember the words. Everything was so beautiful…
But one day, Xiaoyu learned that Zhan likes Jingjing more than a friend. A t that moment, Xiaoyu had a special feeling, a feeling of pain in the heart. Then she realized she had already likes Zhan. Since then, the valuable friendship can never come back. Xiaoyu just felt uncomfortable with them. Gone are the days, when they enjoyed doing everything, talking about their dream. She was very sad about the feeling, but she could not help. She did not want to face them, just wanted escape from them.
One day, she got an opportunity to go to USA, she decided to leave, to forget them. The day Xiaoyu left, Zhan sent her to the airport. The moment Xiaoyu would go into the waiting room, Zhan wanted her to teach him how to use Spanish to say Goodbye. TE A MO She said. So both of them smiling, waving their hands, repeated the same words TE A MO. The moment she turned back, tears rolled down her face out-of-control, but he will never know.
Time flies, ten years past. Xiaoyu became a successful manager in America, and Zhan and Jingjing went to Shanghai. On their wedding day, Xiaoyu did not come back, but gave her best wishes to them. That night, she wrote a long diary, named “Goodbye, my dear castle in the sky” for that valuable memory and for the boy. Reads, you used to be like a castle in the sky, helping me survive the desert, giving me hope, making me brave enough not caring others. I put all my heart pursuing the magic, now the dream ends. I will let you go. Please! be happy! We can never go back. Treasure the present life, make it worthy our sacrifice. Promise me, be happy. My dear, TE A MO, TE A MO…
Once upon time, there was a girl, her name is Xiaoyu. She is very kind and beautiful. In her primary school, she had a friend named “Jingjing”. They usually played together. Then after graduate they entered the same secondary school. Though they are not in the same class, they still contact a lot. Time flied, Xiaoyu graduated and be admitted by a good high school. Then she knew a boy via her classmate. He is a very good boy, who is tall, kind and outgoing, so he has a
lot of friends. One day Jingjing went to Xiaoyu’s school and told her that she would also go to the same high school. Both Xiaoyu and Jingjing were very happy .Moreover, Jingjing was in the same class with Zhan. Slowly, they three became the best friends. They hung out together, ate lunch together, and studied together till late night. They share everything, having no secret. On one summer night, they had dinner, then they talked about their dream and future. Zhan wants to be doctor and Jingjing hopes to be a designer. And Xiaoyu wants to be a business woman, and they promise to be lifelong friends, forever. The stars were extremely beautiful. It was an unforgettable memory. On that summer vacation, Xiaoyu learned Spanish. When they walked together, Zhan helped her remember the words. Everything was so beautiful…
But one day, Xiaoyu learned that Zhan likes Jingjing more than a friend. A t that moment, Xiaoyu had a special feeling, a feeling of pain in the heart. Then she realized she had already likes Zhan. Since then, the valuable friendship can never come back. Xiaoyu just felt uncomfortable with them. Gone are the days, when they enjoyed doing everything, talking about their dream. She was very sad about the feeling, but she could not help. She did not want to face them, just wanted escape from them.
One day, she got an opportunity to go to USA, she decided to leave, to forget them. The day Xiaoyu left, Zhan sent her to the airport. The moment Xiaoyu would go into the waiting room, Zhan wanted her to teach him how to use Spanish to say Goodbye. TE A MO She said. So both of them smiling, waving their hands, repeated the same words TE A MO. The moment she turned back, tears rolled down her face out-of-control, but he will never know.
Time flies, ten years past. Xiaoyu became a successful manager in America, and Zhan and Jingjing went to Shanghai. On their wedding day, Xiaoyu did not come back, but gave her best wishes to them. That night, she wrote a long diary, named “Goodbye, my dear castle in the sky” for that valuable memory and for the boy. Reads, you used to be like a castle in the sky, helping me survive the desert, giving me hope, making me brave enough not caring others. I put all my heart pursuing the magic, now the dream ends. I will let you go. Please! be happy! We can never go back. Treasure the present life, make it worthy our sacrifice. Promise me, be happy. My dear, TE A MO, TE A MO…
Priorities in Choosing a Major
Priorities in Choosing a Major
These days, the topic which SM scholars concern most is the major. It is so important that it may affect a person’s career, even whole life. As for me, like many other students, I focus on two main points when choose a major—interest and job prospects.
Interest comes in the first place. Unlike in China, where all the diplomas are same for the graduates, the diplomas here are divided into two types—Bachelor Degree and Bachelor Degree with Honors. When it comes to finding a job, those candidates with degree with honors will surely have an advantage over those who has a degree without honors. Given the fact that employers give priority to the students with good marks, we should try our best to get a satisfying result, and, only when a person is interested in something, can he do it well. Therefore, give priority to interest when we choose our major.
Then comes the job prospects. We should take the job types, salary and the job opportunities into account. It is better for a person to choose a major associated with his ideal career. Candidates whose major are related to the target job will have more advantages and an ideal career will accompany a person’s whole life, so we should think more about the job prospects related to the major.
Concerning the significance of a major, we should think carefully before we make a final decision. We should choose something related to our ideal career prospects and what we are really interested in, instead of imitating others. Only in this way, can we more enjoy our study and job.
These days, the topic which SM scholars concern most is the major. It is so important that it may affect a person’s career, even whole life. As for me, like many other students, I focus on two main points when choose a major—interest and job prospects.
Interest comes in the first place. Unlike in China, where all the diplomas are same for the graduates, the diplomas here are divided into two types—Bachelor Degree and Bachelor Degree with Honors. When it comes to finding a job, those candidates with degree with honors will surely have an advantage over those who has a degree without honors. Given the fact that employers give priority to the students with good marks, we should try our best to get a satisfying result, and, only when a person is interested in something, can he do it well. Therefore, give priority to interest when we choose our major.
Then comes the job prospects. We should take the job types, salary and the job opportunities into account. It is better for a person to choose a major associated with his ideal career. Candidates whose major are related to the target job will have more advantages and an ideal career will accompany a person’s whole life, so we should think more about the job prospects related to the major.
Concerning the significance of a major, we should think carefully before we make a final decision. We should choose something related to our ideal career prospects and what we are really interested in, instead of imitating others. Only in this way, can we more enjoy our study and job.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Remember the initial dream
I still remember how the burning desire of life science motivated me forwards during the “black June”. In those unforgettable days, it was the dream of having the chance of entering life science that got me through. The initial dream bloomed in my high school life which I will never forget. Every time I thought the efforts I took today may distribute my bright future, I was just refreshed and felt grateful. I always dreamt that I could do some research in the lab, which would benefit people suffering from disease. Now, look back. I suddenly realize it is exactly the initial dream that gives me the strength and courage to go on.
However, the dream was just a dream. I did not get into the medical field in the end.
I thought it might be a dream. I thought it was remained to be a pity for me. I thought I would never get the chance of starting over and following my initial dream, the little lovely dream.
But now, it seems that the Lord just makes a joke and the wheel of destiny gets back to my initial place. I know the possibilities are within reach.
Whereas, I will not rush to make the final decision. No matter what I choose finally, I will always remember the initial dream and lead my life without regret, holding the courage, just like what I used to do when I held the initial dream in the toughest days.
However, the dream was just a dream. I did not get into the medical field in the end.
I thought it might be a dream. I thought it was remained to be a pity for me. I thought I would never get the chance of starting over and following my initial dream, the little lovely dream.
But now, it seems that the Lord just makes a joke and the wheel of destiny gets back to my initial place. I know the possibilities are within reach.
Whereas, I will not rush to make the final decision. No matter what I choose finally, I will always remember the initial dream and lead my life without regret, holding the courage, just like what I used to do when I held the initial dream in the toughest days.
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