I had a dinner with three of my high school friends last night. We all come to Singapore, but with different purposes. We chatted a lot and one of the topics was interesting and was worth to think about: our Chinese students are hard to find a real un-Chinese intimate in Singapore. In most situations, our intimates will also be a Chinese who comes from China. Well, my meaning of Chinese is the Chinese Chinese, not the Singaporean Chinese.
My friends told me that even though they know how to communicate with the locals and have classes with them every single day, it is still hard to chat with them in depth like with our Chinese. They can be good friends with locals but hard to be intimates. It is not because the cultural shock I think, it is because the condition here in Singapore is totally different as a foreign country. Most of us will find that it is true.
In contrast, those who go abroad to America or Europe countries can find their un-Chinese intimates more easily. When they come to America for example, everything is different. They have to communicate with other races in most of the time. They do not have many opportunities to encounter Chinese. Thus, they do have to find an intimate as soon as possible to talk to, and instinctively they will open their heart to the locals and adjust themselves to be more accustomed to talk with them like to talk with our Chinese.
From my perspective, the certain situation happens in Singapore may because our instinctive race tendency. We will get closer to those who come from the same country or even the same city and Singapore provides these conditions to us even though it is a foreign country. Therefore, our intimates are Chinese. This is my rough guess actually. I cannot tell the exactly reason of this situation yet but as the time goes by, I will figure it out.
I agree with you. Sometimes we prefer being with Chinese nationals, which makes us comfortable. It is not a good way if we want to work here and live here for tens of years. So we would better pay more attention on being with the locals.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sharing, Yanny. Very interesting post indeed.
ReplyDeleteLet's put it this way: it is not surprising that people studying/working overseas hit it off when they meet their fellow countrymen. People from the same country share similar culture, and it would be so much easier, without a doubt, to have an affinity with someone from home.
That said, I'm not so sure when it comes to finding a soulmate, or best friend. It probably is less about where you come from, than who you are.